Why I'm not going to the trainers

'Cause we are in Pensacola enjoying ourselves

Not today

yeah... not going today..

DDD

Disappointed. Discouraged Disgusted

I went and I'm not feeling overly positive. First of all.... instead of nearly passing out I actually felt as if I could go longer. But I couldn't tell that to Sean of course because he hightailed it out of there long before I was gone. (He put me on the elliptical for 16  mins.) I ended up going for over 20 minutes because I was waiting for him to come back and check on me... and .. really I LIKE the elliptical. They put music on with fierce beats and I got really into. But I digress.

So... I've plopped down a ton of money and so far...

I haven't been assessed... no weighing.. no measurements.. so how does Sean know if what we're doing is working?

We also only worked out for MAYBE 20 mins... what happened to 60 min work out sessions?

I think I need to have a discussion with him.

About to go....

So apparently I'm to go to the gym early to use the treadmill or whatever to "warm up."

I'm super curious if I'll come close to passing out again. I suppose so.

Honestly? I really have no interest in going. I want to put Aivry down for a nap and read for a few hours... its Spring Break. I want a break. and I'm tired.

Whiiiiiiiiiine

A little voice keeps saying " who are you kidding? You're a fatty. You've been fat your entire adult life. Sit down and be who you are."

I typed up my eating habits for the week. I didn't fudge... thought about it but hey whatever.

Less than an hour to go.

Round 2 ding ding ding

Going back to the trainers tomorrow. I'm finally OK. I can even go up the stairs normally without *much* fear of collapsing. 

Bring it on.

Don't think they'll like my food diary though. I forgot to mention that was my homework. 

I've been contemplating doctoring it. I really don't NEED them to tell me how to eat. I KNOW how I should eat... I just DON'T.

I'm such a lazy ass!

Oh, we've started the no High Fructose Corn Syrup. We've had some slip ups. There are a LOT of stuff in our diet with this listed as an ingredient. It's very eye opening.

We've decided that next month our give up is pork... as in ALL pork. No more Ham for me... sniff and no more Bacon for John... sniff. 

Research

So I'm doing research. I've torn my muscle fibers and the pain is caused from the tears and the inflammation. But. It shouldn't be so bad next time because I've already done the damage. Sounds good to me.Hopefully next week I wont fall in the front of Publix ... ya know... like I did yesterday. 'Cause that wasn't embarrassing at all! NOPE... a 200 lb shorty collapsing in front of Publix.

I. CANT. MOVE.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

no more SQUATS!

I. CAN'T. MOVE.

The muscles in my thighs have quit... my legs are collapsing under me and I cannot climb the stairs or for that matter.... walk down the stairs. I can't get off the couch.. can't pick up Aivry. 

What the hell???